David Klein

[soniafrancesca]

Just because I like Klein, gumawa ako ng sarili kong thread para sa kanya. He's not a part of any of my books. Ay mali, naging part na pala siya ng isa sa mga supposed-to-be series ko for PHR na minalas na di natanggap.

But then, still one of Klein's gang, Alucard, was published in another publication. Loving Alucard from Chapters of the Heart. Dapat talaga ay itutuloy-tuloy ko ang series na iyon ng mga ka-tropa nila. Unfortunately, nagkaroon ng kauntingproblema kaya....floating na siya ngayon.

Anyway, since I really like Klein, gumawa ako ng kung ano-anong eksena tungkol sa kanya. Here it is. I dont know kung magkakainteres kayong malaman ang buhay-buhay ni Klein at ng iba pa niyang katropa, including Alucard himself. But since this is my thread and my forum....gagawin ko na lang ano ang alam kong mapag-iinteresan ng mga tulad kong wala ring magawa sa buhay hehehe!


READ ON.

[soniafrancesca]

Oh, by the way, kinuha ko ang ilan sa mga eksena rito sa kabilang thread kaya yung iba siguro na familiar dito sa forum ay nabasa na ito. Sa mga matagal ng lurker dito, just read on the updates kung trip nyo pa rin hehehe!

[soniafrancesca]

“ACCORDING TO my investigation, the information leak came from your own cave, Klein.”

“My own cave? You mean it came from one of my companies?”

“Not just in any of your companies. Those information were too important it could only come from your very own personal computer.”

“Really? Sweet.”

Napangiti siya nang makita ang pagkunot ng noo ni Adrian mula sa widescreen monitor sa isang bahagi ng kanyang malawak na opisina. Ayaw na ayaw nito ng naiistorbo sa pag-iisa nito sa sarili nitong lungga somewhere in the land of Count Dracula, ang personal hero ni Adrian, who prefer to call himself Alucard that when read backward would read Dracula. Mabuti na lang at na-inlove ang mokong kaya kahit paano ay hindi na ito kasing weird ng dati.

And he had to thank himself for that. Siya rin lang ang nag-iisang taong tumatawag dito ng Adrian, while the rest of the world calls him Alucard.

“Hinahangaan mo pa ang taong nagbibigay sa iyo ngayon ng problema?”

“Well, ito ang unang pagkakataon na may naglakas-loob na makialam sa teritoryo ko ng walang paalam. I should give her credit for sheer guts.”

“Her?”

“Yes.”

“Alam mo na kung sino ang may kagagawan ng kaguluhang ito?”

“Hindi pa.”

“So, what made you think the culprit was a woman?”

“Because no man in his right mind would even dare think of messing up with me.”

Napailing na lang ito. “You’re an egoistic maniac. Isa kang bangungot sa women’s organization nina Juyi Mei.”

Juyi Mei was the woman who saved Adrian from the dark side. “Ipinasa mo na pala sa akin ang titulo mong iyan.”
“I’ve never been an egoistic maniac.”

“Nagka-girlfriend ka lang, nakalimutan mo na ang nakaraan mo. Daig mo pa ang isang bilasang isda. Hindi ka marunong lumingon sa iyong pinanggalingan.”

“Ewan ko sa iyo. Asikasuhin mo na lang ang paghahanap sa totoong may kasalanan sa insidenteng ito sa kumpanya mo habang inaayos ko ang firewall ng computer network ng mga kumpanya mo. Palitan mo na rin pala ang password ng personal computer mo. My work here is done. Goodluck.”

The widescreen monitor went black as Adrian logged off. Umalis siya sa kinauupuang swivel chair at sumalampak sa sahig, paharap sa mabalahibong aso na kanina pa nakatunganga lang sa kanya.

“Do you have any idea kung sino ang maaaring nakialam sa computer ko?” Walang reaksyon sa aso. “Hmm, that’s what I thought, too. Let’s call Raphael.”

Humiga siya sa sahig saka tinawagan sa cellphone ang kanyang personal bodyguard. Ilang sandali lang ay naroona si Raphael na may bitbit pang sandwich.

“You called?”

“I need to change my computer password.”

“Your computer’s over there. What are you doing lying down there?”

“Thinking.” Itinapat niya sa aso ang hawak na cellphone saka iyon kinuhaan ng larawan. “Help me think. What’s the best password in the world?”

“Raphael underscore Capistrano.”

“That’s your name.”

“It’s also the best password in the world.”

He rolled to the dog’s side to take another shot of the animal. “I like that. Go change my password for me.”

Inisahang subo nito ang natitirang sandwich bago sinunod ang kanyang utos. Ilang beses pa niyang kinuhaan ng iba’t ibang shot si Prince bago nakuntento. The huge slimy dog was Juyi Mei's pet. It just stayed with him because Juyi Mei and Adrian were busy on their romantic Carribean tour.

Napalingon siya sa pinto ng kanyang silid nang bigla iyong bumukas at pumasok ang isang babaeng mukhang gerilya. Naka-brown shirt kasi ito, green fatigue pants at combat boots. Hindi na siya magtataka kung may itinatago itong armalite sa likuran nito. With this strange woman’s appearance, naturally, Raphael would be on high alert. Sa isang iglap, nasa harapan na niya ang kanyang bodyguard. Kinuhaan naman niya ng larawan ang babae mula sa kanyang cellphone camera sa pagitan ng mga hita ni Raphael.

“Sino sa inyo si David Klein Cristobal?” tanong ng bagong dating. Maangas.

“Bakit?” tanong niya.

The woman turned to him with her eyes, not even bending her head a little. At sa nakikita niyang ekspresyon sa mga mata nito, tila ba ipinapahiwatig noon na hindi siya dapat nagsasalita dahil ibang nilalang ang turing nito sa kanya.

Ah, feisty.

“Kailangan ko siyang makausap,” sagot nito. “Importante.”

“Sino ka muna.”

“I’m his fiancee. Now, where is Klein?” Itinuro niya si Raphael. Hinarap nito ang kanyang bodyguard. “You’re Klein?”

Raphael turned to him. He just took his picture with his cellphone and smiled. Hindi niya alam kung ano na ang naging reaksyon ng pobre niyang bodyguard dahil muling kinuha ng babae ang atensyon nito.

“Tinatanong kita kaya sagutin mo ako. Ikaw ba si David Klein Cristobal?”

“Kipitecolurevoluxion?”

“What?”

Bumaling sa kanya ang butihin niyang bodyguard. “Poyulesupanuro.”

Raphael really was quick-witted. Nakahanap agad ito ng palusot by bringing out an alien language he just invented.

Umayos na siya ng upo saka sumagot. “Toburadish boreudakureopu.”

“Savibateru boreute?”

“Kompaniyeru.”

“Batereu borute.”

“You, two, just shut the hell up,” gigil na wika ng babae. “Kung ayaw ninyong sabihin kung nasaan si Klein, sana sinabi na lang ninyo ng diretso. Madali naman akong kausap.”

Iyon lang at tinalikuran na sila nito. Ngunit bago ito tuluyang lumabas ng silid ay muli sila nitong binalingan.

“Oh, by the way, pakisabi nga pala kay Klein na wala siyang dapat na ipag-alala sa proposed oil depot niya sa Bataan. Matutuloy iyon kahit hindi matuloy ang kasal namin. Ako na ang bahala sa mga magulang ko. Matulog na lang kamo siya ng mahimbing para lumaki siya agad. Iyon lang. Salamat.”

Masyado yata itong nagmamadali kaya hindi na nito napansin ang papasok niyang janitor. Kitang-kita niya ang pagsalpok ng katawan nito sa yakap na balde ni Dark. Malakas itong napasinghap, hawak ang nasaktang dibdib.

“This is a restricted area, Miss. Anong ginagawa mo rito?”

Nagpangalumbaba siya at hinintay na sampalin ng babae ang kanyang walang modong janitor.

“You…”

“Paano kang nakapasok dito? You’re a trespasser. Raphael, ano pa ang ginagawa mo riyan? Itapon mo na sa bintana ang babaeng ito.”

“I only answer to Klein.”

“Fine.” Nagkibit lang ng balikat si Dark saka ibinaba ang balde at mop sa isang tabi. “Let’s go, Miss.”

Pero nagulat siya nang ni hindi man lang lumapat sa braso ng babae ang kamay ni Dark. Tila kidlat na umigkas kamao nito at tumama iyon sa mukha ng pobreng lalaki.

Tulog na idineklara ang kanyang janitor.

“Mga sira ulo kayong lahat!” galit na sigaw ng babae sabay walkout.

“I’m bored,” aniya habang kinukuhaan ng larawan si Dark.

“Yallaphuongthai!” sagot ng elyen.

[soniafrancesca]

Alucard: Anong gagawin mo kapag nahuli mo iyon?

Klein: Ipapalapa ko siya kay Prince. *scratched the dog’s fluffy fur head*

Alucard: Wag mong dudungisan ang dangal ng mga pangil ni Prince ng commoner’s blood, Klein. Kung gusto mo pang makita ang mga computer files mo.

Klein: Fine. I’ll just adopt her then.

Alucard: Adopt HER?

Klein: Well, I already have 5 boys in my care. My evil scientist Rave, my lovely double-crosser bodyguard Raphael, my gun-maniac friend Migel, crazy janitor Dark, and my favorite pet. You. Muah.

Alucard: Spare me that crap, Klein. I’m not your toy.

Klein: Right. Naka-graduate ka na nga pala dahil may Juyi Mei ka na. That’s why I’m adopting willful hacker Lulu. For a change.

Alucard: How did you know her name?

Klein: Oh, I just put in some cute little spy camera on you the last time you came here to talk about this computer-hacking problem of mine.

Alucard: What?!

Klein: Let’s just say na dahil inlove ka na ngayon ay magiging malambot na ang puso mo sa mga babae. Naisip ko lang naman na kapag babae ang natuklasan mong salarin sa computer hacking incident na ito ay bibigyan mo siya ng special treatment. So I let Rave create a special remote-controlled spy camera for me. Oh, that evil genius. He’s really great.

Alucard: *paranoid, lingon-lingon sa damit*

Klein: It’s gone now. The moment that little cute thingy served its purpose, it self-destruct . Sumalangit-nawa ang kanyang usok. Anyway, mabalik tayo kay Lulu—

Alucard turned off his monitor. He just smiled and pulled off the cord that’s connecting his computer to the Internet, a place where Alucard’s power rules. Masyado ng sensitive ang taong iyon mula nang magka-girlfriend. It’s a good thing in some way. But it was bad for him, especially now na napikon ito. Siguradong hindi ito titigil hangga’t hindi ito makakaganti sa kanya kahit konti. Pero dahil nasa ibang bansa ito, also known as lungga ni Dracula, ang tanging magiging access nito sa kanya ay through Internet.

Klein: I can’t live without the Internet, Prince. Hindi ako makakapag-status update sa Facebook account ko.

Tumahol ang aso at tumalsik ang laway nito sa iba’t ibang direksyon. Inilabas niya ang cellphone at ini-on ang video camera saka iyon itinutok dito.

Klein: Do it again, Prince.

Raphael: You’re getting crazier by the moment, Klein.

He turned to his bodyguard who just came in. May benda pa rin ito sa ulo at tatlong BandAids na may makukulay na disenyong nakadikit sa iba’t ibang bahagi ng mukha nito. Hindi pa rin naaalis ang sling sa isang braso nito at may saklay naman sa kabila. Iika-ika itong nagtungo sa pinakamalapit na mauupuan.

Klein: *he turned back his attention to the dog * How’s your wounds?

Raphael: Its coming along.

Klein: Gusto mong tawagin ko si Rave para gawan ka ng gamot na makakapagpagaling sa iyo ng mabilis?

Raphael: No, thanks. The last time I asked him for something, I ended up falling inlove with a woman.

Klein: Just be grateful you didn’t fall inlove with a man. *Raphael scowled at him* And it wasn’t Rave’s fault. Ako ang nag-utos sa kanya na ibang potion ang ibigay sa iyo.

Raphael: Why am I not surprised.

Klein: That’s just me saying… *he turned to him with a smile* ‘DON’T EVER MESS UP WITH ME AGAIN.’

Raphael: Sorry. But I’m poor with promises.

The fire in Raphael’s eyes told him the same warning. Mukhang dinibdib talaga nito ang pagkatalo sa kanya. Which was acceptable since Raphael haven’t tasted the bitterness of losing to anyone in any form of combats. Such a bull-headed bastard. Nice.

Raphael: Bakit mo nga pala ako ipinatawag?

Klein: I want you to do something for me.

Raphael: I’m not your bodyguard anymore, Klein.

Klein: Remember Lulu?

Raphael glared at him. Klein smiled. Now he got Raphael’s attention. Time to do some fate-twisting. Ah, he so love being himself at a time like this.

Klein: Hindi ako makapag-status update sa Facebook ko dahil sa kanya. Nakabantay si Alucard sa Internet at oras na mag-log in ako at ma-detect niya ang presensiya ko, tapos ang kinabukasan ng mga negosyo ko. He would hack and destroy all my computer files in seconds.

Raphael: What’s that got to do with me?

Klein: Lulu’s the only one I know who could create a computer block to protect my files just until Alucard settled down his anger.

Raphael: Again, what’s that got to do with me?

Klein: Bring Lulu here.

Raphael: And why would I do that?

Klein: Because you love her.

Raphael: No, I don’t.

Klein: Yes, you do.

Raphael: No, I don’t.

Klein: Pustahan tayo?

Raphael: I want all your wealth.

Klein: Sigurado ka talagang mananalo ka sa pustahan natin, ano? Well, then, be my bodyguard again when I win. *Raphael gave him a suspicious look* Surprised? Don’t be. Ganyan talaga ako ka-bait na tao.

Raphael: I don’t trust you.

Klein: Even after I saved you from your former group and forgiven you when you double-crossed me, ganyan pa rin ang sasabihin mo sa akin?

Raphael: Yes.

Klein: Ouch.

Raphael: I never trust anyone.

Klein: You trusted Lulu. *Raphael turned away. He had a satisfied smile on his face now.* By the way, hindi na nga pala ako nagpapatawad ng mga taong dalawang beses akong pagtaksilan. My limit ang kabaitan ko sa katawan. So better be careful with messing up with me again, Raphael.

[soniafrancesca]

Klein was leaning against the side of his car while sitting on the cemented pavement. His bodyguard Raphael was sitting on the back bumper of the car, Indian-sit style.

Ella: Klein, alam kong alam mo kung nasaan si Rave. Ilabas mo siya.

Klein: Kahit ilabas ko siya sa bulsa ko, kung ayaw na niya sa iyo, hindi mo pa rin makukuha.

Ella: That’s for you to know and for me to find out. Kaya sabihin mo na sa akin kung nasaan siya.

Klein: Nasa laboratory sa fortyfifth floor ng pangatlong gusali ko sa Ortigas.

Bumaling ito sa kabilang side nito. Hindi na siya nagtaka na mabilis lang nitong ibinigay sa kanya ang ganong klase ng impormasyon sa isang taong pinakikibangan nito ng malaki. Ang hindi lang niya ma-take, ay ang nakikita niya ngayon dito.

Ella: Klein, what the heck are you doing? Bakit nakalupasay ka riyan sa kalsada sa ganitong oras ng gabi?

Klein: Sabihin mo muna sa akin kung ano ang gagawin mo sa evil genius scientist ko kapag nakita mo siya.

Ella: I’m gonna make him realize he loves me more than he loves his evil genius experiments.

Klein *laughs*: Now that’s funny. Noong magkasama kayo nang mga bata pa kayo, hindi ka na niya pinapansin. Ngayon pa kayang nakita na niya ang silbi niya sa mundo sa apat na sulok ng napakaganda kong laboratory?

Ella: Buwisit ka. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit mas lalong nalulong sa mga experiments niya si Rave. Kung hindi mo siya kinuha at pinagtrabaho sa kumpanya mo—

Klein: He would have been a threat to mankind, with the kind of talent that he had. So you should have been thanking me instead of cursing me while I’m doing my emo pose.

Ella: Emo what?

Klein: Emo pose. Para sa mga natural na guwapo. *He turned his head to her, his hair sligthly covering his eyes, his eyes that spoke of so much loneliness and pain* Raphael, nakuha ko na ang momentum ko. Take my picture now.

Raphael jumped from the car and took Klein’s picture from different angles. What the heck was wrong with these men? Mga mukha namang matitino. Pero daig pa ang mga may tililing sa utak. Lalo na ang Klein na ito. Bilyonaryong naturingan, kung ano-anong kalokohan ang pinaggagagawa.

Ella: Para saan ba iyan?

Raphael: Pang-default photo niya.

Ella: Default photo?

Raphael: Sa Facebook.

[soniafrancesca]

Klein *looking at himself in the antique full-size mirror*: “I really looked good on this riding uniform. Don’t you think, Raphael?”

Raphael *fussing over his own uniform*: “Yeah. But why do I have to wear one as well? I’m not a Stallion Riding Club member.”

Klein: “You are now.”

Raphael: “I don’t remember ever signing any membership applications.”

Klein: “Oh. That. I signed one for you. Malungkot ang mangabayo ng walang kasama, eh.”

Raphael: “Wala akong one million para sa membership fee.”

Klein: “Ako marami.”

Raphael: “Hindi ka naman marunong mangabayo. Paano kang tinanggap sa isang riding club?”

Klein: “Sinabi ko kay Reid na marunong ka at willing ka namang turuan ako kaya siguro pumayag siya.”

Raphael: “I don’t like horses.”

Klein: “You’ll love it there.”

Raphael: “I DON’T LIKE horses.”

Klein: “But you like Lulu, right?” *Raphael growled at him. He just smiled and tapped him on the shoulders* “You’ll love it there.”

[soniafrancesca]

Para sa mga magtatanong kung part ba ng SRC: Revisited sina Klein, HINDI PO. Pampalipas-oras ko lang po ang karakter na ito ni Klein. Laruan kumbaga. Pati ang mga katropa niya kaya huwag na kayong maghintay sa paglabas nila sa kahit na anong nobela ko.

Sa ngayon, salamat sa pagtitiyagang magbasa nito. Hanggang sa muli!

[soniafrancesca]

Okay. I don’t really know why im wasting my time writing some stupid stories that wont even be of any use to me. But then again, I always love Klein so let’s take another peek at his life with the rest of the people who, unfortunately, get entangled with David Klein’s crazy world.

Alucard got bored in his mansion. Barged into Klein’s majestic and palacial mansion. Saw Excel pointing a gun at Klein who was slumped on his desk.

Alucard: “Was he dead?”

Excel *turning his gun to him, with a cigarette at the side of his mouth*: “And you are…?”

Alucard *irritated*: “You dare point a gun at me?”

Excel: “Aren’t you a bat?”

Alucard: “Sometimes.”

Raphael *came in from one of the doors, put a blanket on Klein’s*: That’s enough. You’ll wake up Klein.”

Excel: “And what are you? His girlfriend?”

Raphael: “No. I’m his bodyguard.” *threw an ashtray at Excel who just shoot it* “You’re good.”

Excel: “I’m also an ex-priest.” *blew a smoke of his cigarette* “Now get away from that bastard or I’ll shoot you too.”

Raphael: “Because…?”

Alucard: “Klein was just sleeping?”

Raphael: “Yeah. Napuyat kakapanuod ng mga Koreanovela kagabi.”

Excel: “Wake him up.”

Alucard: “You don’t need to wake him up if you’re just gonna shoot him.”

Excel: “Its not my style to kill people who were sleeping. Its against my rules as an ex-priest.”

Raphael *gently tapping Klein’s back while singing a lullabye*


Before Excel could take out his frustration on anyone, someone suddenly barged in, hitting Excel when the door opened, his gun flew out the window.

Mea (Klein’s chemist) *following her inside was a very timid and apologetic Raven*: “Klein! That idiot blew up my experiment again!”

Raven: “Im…I’m sorry…”

Mea *ignoring Raven*: “He’s really worthless! Why did you give him the directorial job at the laboratory anyway?! I should be the one handling that position! I’m better than him and you know that! Klein! Wake up!”


Raphael hushed Mea who continued her rantings while Excel kept on cursing over the window where his gun flew. Alucard grabbed Raven who kept on apologizing and dragged him out.


Alucard: “I need that poison again.”

Raven: “W-what poison?”

Alucard: “The one you gave to lure out Juyi Mei’s dog.”

Raven: “Its not poison. It’s a potion.”

Alucard: “Whatever. Just give it to me.”

Raven: “What do you need it for?”

Alucard: “None of your business.”

Raven: “Klein’s instruction was not to give out anything that came from his laboratory without a valid reason.”

Alucard *thinking*: “I just miss…that slimy dog.”

Raven *confused and curious*: “I thought you hate that slimy dog.”

Alucard: “Not anymore. Come on, where’s that poition?”

Raven *suddenly looked stricken*: “I can’t make it anymore.”

Alucard: “Why not?”

Raven: “I’m…depressed. Mea’s mad at me.”

Alucard: “So?”

Raven: “I can’t work when she’s mad. I get really nervous and tend to mix wrong ingredients together.”

Alucard: “I don’t care how you feel. Give me that poition…or I’ll tell Mea you’re inlove with her.”

Raven *surprised*: “I’m not inlove with her.”

Alucard: “Whatever, dude.”

Raven: “You’re the one who’s inlove.”

Alucard: “Ah, shut up.”



Alucard dragged Raven to the laboratory and forced him to create that ‘poition’ again. Raven gave in coz he doesn’t want Alucard messing up the tidiness of his laboratory. Mea suddenly barged in, literally giving Raven a nervous breakdown.


Mea *shouting*: “Great! Are you going to blow up the whole place for good this time?”

Raven *slipping bottle after bottle and spilling liquids all over the table*: “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’ll be better! I promise! I’m sorry!”

Mea: “Look at those chemicals! Argh! You’re going to ruin everything again!”

Alucard: “Hey! Will you cut it out? He’s working something for me so just shut it, okay?”

Mea: “Then why don’t you just take him out where he won’t mess anything up?”

Alucard: “Or how about this, woman. Why don’t YOU leave US for a while so he could concentrate on his work?”

Mea: “Hah! I didn’t know he needed concentration to work on something stupid.”

Alucard *watched her intently*: “Looks like you had a thing for Raven.”

Mea *mortified*: “WHAT?!”

Alucard: “If you like him, don’t scare him away. Raven doesn’t like high and mighty women. He doesn’t finds it very charming.”


Raven gets even more flustered and clutsier. Mea’s face was red with emotions that has something to do with kicking Alucard’s butt.


Alucard *tapping Raven’s shoulder*: “Dude, relax. If you mess up with my poition, I’ll tear you to pieces.”

Mea *shouting*: “IM NOT INLOVE WITH THAT PATHETIC IDIOT!”

Alucard: “And who said anything about love? Ah, you don’t have to answer that. You already admitted anyway.”


Raven fainted. Then tension must have been too much for him.

[soniafrancesca]

Alucard went to Klein’s mansion. There he caught up with Klein’s bodyguard Raphael and ex-priest-turned-assassin Excel pointing a gun at each other. He walked passed them to where Klein was sleeping on his desk.

Alucard: “Klein, wake up.”

Klein *groggy*: “What…”

Alucard *threw a lot of tissue at him*: “Wipe away your drools before you look at me, man. You’re disgusting.”

Klein *ignored the tissue and sleep again*: “Nyam…”

Alucard: “What’s the best gift to give to a girl to make her happy?”

Klein: “Idunno…”

Alucard: “Of course you know. You’re David Klein Cristobal. You know everything. I’m praising you so wake up and tell me the best gift to give to a girl to make her happy.”

Klein sat up, wiping his drools with the sleeve of his coat, still looking spaced out. Alucard heard Raphael and Excel had gone out to settle their scores.

Alucard: “Klein.”

Klein: “Huh…?”

Alucard *hostaging Klein’s bowl of candies*: “What’s the best gift to give to a girl—“

Klein: “Your heart.” *took back his candies, and sleeps again hugging the bowl* “Wake me up again and I’ll kill you.”

[soniafrancesca]

Klein and his bodyguard Raphael was still discussing about the bodyguard’s irritation for his boss just outside Riders’ Verandah’s entrance door. Trigger Samaniego came in and Raphael’s injured state caught his attention. Trigger Samaniego had known Klein from their previous meetings when Klein attended the newbies induction. Raphael wasn’t there coz he was still at the hospital at that time, recupperating his injuries.


Trigger: “Sino iyan?”

Klein: “Bodyguard ko.”

Jigger *followed behind his twin, saw Raphael too*: “Sino ka?”

Raphael: “Bodyguard niya.”

Jigger: “You got that much injuries from protecting him?” *turn to Klein* “Just what kind of people you’re dealing with, Cristobal?”

Klein: “Normal ones.”

Trigger: “And…your bodyguard’s the abnormal one?”

Klein: “Bingo.”

Jigger: “Then why did you get him as your bodyguard?”

Klein: “Because he’s abnormal.”

Raphael: “Hindi ba’t ang sarap niyang hampasin ng saklay?”

Klein: “Raphael, my boy. Cool ka lang.”

Raphael *highblood na*: “Cool? You crushed almost all the bones in my body, you bastard!”

Klein: “O, para iyon lang, napikon ka na agad?”


Raphael tried to smack Klein with one of his trusted crutches. Pinigilan lang siya ng Samaniego twins.


Jigger: “Only a Stallion boy could hurt a Stallion boy.”

Trigger: “And you’re not a Stallion boy.”

Klein: “Korek.”


Reid Alleje was passing by.


Raphael: “Reid! Can I be a member of your club? I’m just gonna kick Klein’s crazy ass.”

Reid: “And why would I let you hurt one of my club’s assets?” *Reid re-arranged the potted plants nearby*

Klein: “May anim na araw pang natitira bago ma-paso ang kontrata mo sa akin. And according to your contract, you can’t kick your crazy boss’ ass until your contract is complete. Hmm, I’m really great.”

Reid: “By the way, you’re suspended for six days, Klein.”

Klein: “Why?”

Reid: “For creating a ruckus with a non-member.”

Trigger *tapped Raphael’s shoulders*: “Now you can kick Klein’s crazy ass.”

Jigger: “For six days.”

Klein: “Sandali.” *held up a hand.*

Raphael: “Bakit?”

Klein: “Tatakbo lang ako.”


;D ;D ;D

[soniafrancesca]

Raphael and Klein were heading towards the riding arena. Klein flipping his black hand gloves while enjoying the beautiful scenery.

Klein: “I still think this place needs some improvements.”
Raphael: “This looks fine to me.”
Klein: “This place really needs some improvements.” Klein stopped when he stepped on a pebble stone. “Yeah. I’m right.”

Klein kicked the little stone and continued walking. A few moments later, he had stepped on the same stone he just kicked and went flying in the air before falling on the cobbled pavement, flat on his butt. He almost lost his consciousness in his current indignity.

Raphael: “Yeah, this place REALLY needs some improvements.”

Klein sighed. No need to lose his cool when he just lost one-fourth of his dignity. He got up and whisked the dirt from his black breech as if falling flat on his butt was an everyday occurance to him.

Klein *lingon lingon sa paligid*: “May iba pa bang nakakita?”

Raphael: “Ako lang.”

Klein: “Good. Did you take my picture?”

Raphael: “No.”

Klein: “If I ever see my picture of indignity on Facebook, I’ll tear you to pieces, Raphael.”

Raphael: “Okay.” Raphael took out his phone and clicked on something on it. “Picture deleted.”

Klein: “Good boy.” Klein saw a horse eating nearby. “You, horse creature. I’m David Klein Cristobal and I’m rich. I’ll sue you if I ever hear you talking about this incident to your fellow grass eater. Got that?”

The horse just walked away.

[soniafrancesca]

BEAR HUG

Girl: “Ano iyon?”

Raphael: “Ang alin?”

Girl: “Ang bear hug?”

Raphael: “I dunno.”

Klein: “Ganito iyon.” *pushed Raphael, faced the girl with his arms up in the air.* “Aaaaarrr!”

Girl screamed and ran away. Klein still follows her, arms in the air, and looking more like a gorilla than a bear.

Raphael: “Why did I ever end up having an idiot as my boss.”

[soniafrancesca]

Naabutan ni Klein ang isang nakamaskarang lalaki sa kanyang pribadong opisina, na pinakikialaman ang pribado niyang koleksyon ng mga alak.

Klein: “That’s called stealing, you know.”

Maskman just stood there, holding two bottles of wine, watching Klein.

Klein *walking closer*: “Man, you look even weirder than my pet Alucard. And he’s not even wearing a hood. But, I still like your outfit of choice. You’re making stealing look cool.”

Maskman picked up another bottle of wine.

Klein: “Stealing while the owner is watching. Yep, you’re cool!”

Raphael suddenly showed up at the door, pointing a gun at the masked man.

Klein: “Don’t shoot him.”

Raphael: “Why?”

Klein: “He’s cool.”

Raphael: “He’s stealing your wines, Klein.”

Klein: “It’s okay. Those were just wines. Anyway, I’ll just give it to him as a gift for having the guts to come here and steal from me.”

Raphael: “Those were the wines given to you by your fans.”

Klein: “I have fans?” He turned to the Maskman with a proud smile on his lips. “Sorry, dude. I have fans. And those were from them. So, go and steal wines from someone else’s fans.”

Maskman turned towards the door when Raphael took the shot. Mask dropped to the floor.

Klein: “Now let’s have your picture so I could turn you over to the police before...”

Maskman turned to them. And they just stood there, stunned, as their eyes were glued to the face of the man who was trying to steal the wines. Klein slowly smiled as he picked up two more wines and gave it to Maskman. Raphael lowered his gun, picked another bottle of wine, and gave it to Maskman himself. Maskman accepted the bottles of wine, and without saying anything, turned and walked away.

Klein: “Thank you!”

Raphael: “Please come again!”

Klein: “Yeah! Don’t be shy on stealing from me again!”

The two went to the window and watched Maskman disappeared into the dark of the night.

Klein: “He’s really beautiful, isn’t he? I feel kinda weird.”

Raphael: “And I suddenly feel like an idiot.”

Klein: “You’ll get use to it. Come, let’s stock up more wines for his next stealing.”

Raphael: “Yes, boss.”

[soniafrancesca]

“MGA ALABOK SA LUPA”


Klein and Raphael were stuck in traffic.

Klein: “Raphael, I’m bored. And you know I can’t stay sitting at one place for over ten minutes.”

Raphael: “There’s a rally up front.”

Klein: “Do something. My butt’s getting numb here.”

Raphael: “Yes, boss.”

Raphael stepped out of his car and went to the crowd of activists and shouts.

Raphael: “My boss’ butt is getting numb! So, clear the road and let us pass through!” *no one seemed to care* *shouts again* My boss’ butt is getting numb! So clear the road…*took out his gun and fired up* …and no one will get hurt!” *people ran all over the place* “Thank you!”

Raphael went back to the car.

Klein: “You could have killed someone with that gun.”

Raphael: “I used a blank bullet.”

Klein: “Ah. Let’s look for another protest rally.”

Raphael: “What for?”

Klein: “I want a new profile picture for my Facebook account."

Raphael: "Picture?"

Klein: "You take my picture while I fire a blank bullet in the middle of a protest rally."

Raphael: "Boss...you can't."

Klein: "I can." *showed his shutgun and smiled* "Tada!"

[soniafrancesca]

“No To CyberCrime Law!”


Klein sitting on the floor, head down, shoulders slumped.

Raven *clipboards on hand*: “W-what…w-w-what happened to our B-b-b-oss?”

Raphael *sitting on the table*: “He couldn’t post anything on his Facebook account.”

Raven: “W-w-w-w-w-w—“

Raphael: “Why? Cyber Crime Law.”

Raven: “W-w-w-w-w-w—“

Raphael: “What’s that? Just a crappy law that prevent Klein from freely posting, liking, sharing and reposting anything from his Facebook account.”

Raven: “That’s just f-f-f-f-f-f-uc—“

Raphael: “Yeah, it’s really crappy.”

Alucard’s face appeared on the widescreen computer monitor.

Alucrad: “Klein, why didn’t you answered my email message? I told you I wanted a quick response, at least within twenty four hours because I needed your opinion on—hey, what happened to that assho—“

Raphael: “Cyber Crime Law victim.”

Alucard: “Oh, that crappy law again.”

Raphael: “Yep. He’d been like that for two days now.”

Alucard: “So he didn’t even read my email message because he couldn’t do anyting on his Facebook account?”

Raphael: “Yes.”

Raven and Raphael distort their faces as Alucard rained down curse words. Migel kicked the door open and came in, double-pistol on both hands.

Migel: “YA-HA!” Look around. “Where’s Klein?” Raven and Raphael pointed at Klein on the floor. “What happened to him?”

Raven, Raphael and Alucard: “Cyber Crime Law victim.”

Migel: “A victim?” Loaded his guns. “Where’s that Cyber Crime Law? Let’s go and take it down, YA-HA!”

Klein slumped his body on the floor, face down.

Raphael, Migel, Raven, Alucard: “AAHHH!”

Klein: “My…Facebook…” *crawling ala Sadako*

Raphael, Migel, Raven, Alucard: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”